Ronie Writer is back! Better? Eh, probably not.
Sorry that I've been gone for so long. The author has been busy writing a novel for the past month, so I've been shoved in the back closet with all the other characters besides her round table of new characters. (Yes, Jessi, I'm glaring at you.)
*huff*
Back to me. (Yes, that sounded selfish. No, I don't care. I've been locked in a closet with long forgotten characters and a very angry inner editor for an entire month. Right now, I need some air.)
Now, just because I was locked away doesn't mean nothing happened. On the contrary, I did some digging and even got out for a bit to have some fun of my own. One that comes to mind is this past Thanksgiving.
My family usually has a big hoopla to celebrate Thanksgiving, but because of my, uh, recent "accidents" we decided to not endanger anyone and just have a nice small immediate family Thanksgiving in hopes that maybe, maybe, the chaos would keep away long enough for us to finish dinner.
Annalee was home for break and to do laundry and was put on "babysitting duty." In other words, she was to make sure I didn't cause or get into any trouble while Dad fried the turkey and Mom grabbed things from the oven just in time. I was in charge of setting the table and making sure the rolls didn't burn. Easy stuff. I finished setting the table and didn't have to put the rolls in until later, so I went out back with Dad just to get some fresh air. Dad went inside a minute, but it was a minute too long apparently.
I sitting there, minding my own business, when wouldn't you know it, the local zombie family of three caught the scent of the turkey. What, you don't have a family of zombies in your neighborhood? Oh, well we don't actually have a local zombie family, but they might as well have been!
"Uh, I don't suppose you're here to be neighborly?" I said slowly getting up from my chair.
"Ugggghhhhhhh," the daddy zombie said.
"Sorry, I don't speak brains," I replied. I grabbed the thermometer that was meant to check the temperature of the turkey and threw it point first at the zombies. My aim was perfect. Hit the daddy in the head, but unfortunately I forgot he was already technically dead so that was just a tickle to what brains he had left. Junior zombie didn't take too kindly to me stabbing his dad, so like any good zombie son, Junior charged me.
*Pause that a moment*
Now when you think of zombies, you think slow and brainless. The ones in front of me definitely were not slow. They walked normally, except for the mom who obviously had an accident pre-death and was limping. So to say Junior was quick on his feet was a complete understatement. Brainless? Oh that's completely true.
*Annnndddddd gooooooo*
I side stepped out of the way and Junior ran straight into the side of the house.
"Bet that'll leave a mark," I said. I side stepped again out of the way of daddy and mommy zombie as they swung at me.
"Come on! It's Thanksgiving!" I exclaimed. I grabbed a stick from the ground and knocked mommy zombie on her back and then knocked daddy zombie's head off.
"Ronie! I can't leave you alone for two minutes!" Lee complained running outside. She brought with her two things. A knife from helping Mom in the kitchen and a little light bomb.
*Pause again*
Light bombs are something Lee and I came up with over the long break of posts. They are small little grenade types of bombs. They have a timer on them so it gives you a beeping and red light flashing before it goes off. Trust me, that timer has saved my eyes hundreds of times since we put the suckers together. They explode and instead of damage to your entire body, it blinds you and, if you're close enough, it knocks you silly. So you can imagine what it would do to the undead.
*And play*
Lee tossed the bomb in the middle of the three zombies and I ducked away, covering my head and closing my eyes. The bomb went off and gave a high pitched beep, letting us know it was safe again. I peeked and saw Junior's arm lying nearby. I stood and saw Lee with her fists on her hips, eyes narrowed at me and her foot tapping. I gave a smile and shrugged, "Turkey's ready?"
So that was my Thanksgiving, anyone else have an...interesting thing happen? Doesn't have to be as extreme as zombies, could be anything from uncooked food to a traveling mishap.
Thanks for reading! I'll be back soon and hopefully with something from Conner....don't ask where he disappeared to, I have no idea and I don't want to talk about it.
Blog ya later!
